Crisis In The Family Courts

Holly Collins Pleads for her Child

Posted in Uncategorized by abatteredmother on January 31, 2009

 

Holly Collins Pleads for her Child

from What About Him? by childrenunderground

January 16 2009

Dear Supporters,
I can’t stop crying. I feel as if my life is falling apart again! I am so tired of fighting for every little piece of ‘peace and quiet.’ I don’t ever ask for anything for myself. I don’t mean to be a martyr but I had such a horrible child hood that all I ever wanted was a family of my own. Once I had children, all I ever wanted was for them to be safe. Do you know that when we first went to the child psychologist back in 1990 and she asked me if I thought my children were happy I replied “I don’t have time to worry if they are happy or not. I’m too busy trying to keep them safe.” I was 25 years old and so ashamed of my answer. Today I am filled with the same sense of shame.

I am so grateful to my wonderful daughter Jennifer and for all of you for standing up for me. I really feel like I don’t deserve it. I am ashamed that I am such a weakling. I don’t know how to defend myself because I sort of believe some of the horrible things that they are printing about me. I wish I was smarter, prettier, thinner, kinder, stronger, etc… I have to constantly remind myself that “People like me” aren’t only to serve others as my own mother, step-father and then husband constantly told me.

I wish you could know me here in the Netherlands. I love being a mother more than anything in the world! Here is a photo of me and my youngest daughter playing in the snow last week. I am really that kind, loving, happy mom that you see in the photo. I promise you that I am a good mother! I love being the mother of 10 super, amazing kids! They are all such good kids.

I feel so bad for Christopher. He is 16 years old and he keeps asking/telling me to “just do something about it.”and to “make things right.” How can I if his father doesn’t care about his well being because he is obsessed with punishing me for ruining his life by having the baby in the first place (16 years ago.)

I am pulled right back into my past of helplessness when Zachary once said to me “A good mother wouldn’t let them take her kids away.”
I am really trying to put up a brave front but I feel like I am dying inside. I would appreciate any advice you can give.

Thank you,

Holly
PS. Just in case, here are the web sites from my kids:
http://www.americanchildrenunderground.blogspot.com/

http://ca3cacaca.blogspot.com/

http://whoismyrealdad.blogspot.com/

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